Trauma & Relationship Healing

Understanding How the Past Affects the Present

Virtual trauma therapy for adults in DC, NY, VA, VT, and UT.

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Sometimes, the experiences that shape us most aren't easy to recognize as trauma. You may have grown up feeling that your emotions weren't understood, that you had to meet certain expectations to feel accepted, or that keeping the peace was your responsibility.

Those experiences can affect how you see yourself, navigate relationships, and respond to stress long after the circumstances have changed.

Maybe you find yourself putting others first, struggling to set boundaries, or feeling that you always have to handle things on your own. You might understand where these patterns began but still find them difficult to change.

Therapy offers space to explore these experiences, understand how they affect your life today, and develop new ways of responding to yourself and others. We'll work collaboratively, building on your strengths and moving at a pace that feels manageable for you.

How Past Experiences Can Affect You Today

The effects of difficult experiences aren't always obvious. You may recognize them in your relationships, your expectations of yourself, or the way you respond when life feels stressful.

You might find yourself:

  • Putting Others First: Saying yes when you want to say no, feeling responsible for other people's emotions, or struggling with guilt when you prioritize your own needs.

  • Holding Yourself to High Standards: Feeling that you have to get everything right, being hard on yourself when you make mistakes, or tying your worth to what you accomplish.

  • Relying Only on Yourself: Finding it difficult to ask for help, trust others, or feel comfortable depending on someone.

  • Anticipating Problems: Expecting conflict, overthinking interactions, or feeling the need to stay prepared for what might go wrong.

  • Feeling Disconnected: Having difficulty identifying what you feel or need, feeling emotionally overwhelmed, or withdrawing when things become too much.

These patterns may have helped you navigate earlier experiences, but they can become frustrating or exhausting when they continue to affect your life today. Therapy can help you understand these patterns and explore other ways of responding.

Understanding Complex & Relational Trauma

Not all difficult experiences involve one clearly defined event. Growing up in an environment where your feelings were dismissed, navigating unpredictable family relationships, or feeling that acceptance depended on meeting certain expectations can influence how you relate to yourself and others as an adult.

Therapy can provide space to explore experiences such as:

Childhood Emotional Neglect: Growing up without the emotional support, understanding, or validation you needed.

Difficult Family Dynamics: Navigating unpredictable relationships, frequent conflict, or feeling responsible for keeping the peace.

Conditional Acceptance and High Expectations: Feeling that you have to achieve, please others, or meet certain expectations to feel valued.

Relational Challenges in Adulthood: Finding yourself repeating familiar relationship patterns, struggling to establish boundaries, or having difficulty trusting others.

You don't have to know exactly how to label your experiences before beginning therapy. We can explore what you've been through and how it may be affecting you today.

How Therapy Can Help

✓ Understanding how past experiences influence current relationships and self-perception.

✓ Work through shame, self-blame, and self-criticism while building greater self-trust.

✓ Recognizing patterns such as people-pleasing, perfectionism, or putting others' needs first.

✓ Develop healthier boundaries and practical ways to navigate triggers and emotional overwhelm.

✓ Reconnect with your values, relationships, and goals so you can move forward with greater confidence and choice.

What Trauma Therapy With Me Is Like

A woman with dark, curly hair wearing a red top and a smartwatch on her left wrist, resting her chin on her hand and smiling slightly. She is indoors, with a framed illustration of a tree and some text in the background.

Trauma therapy doesn't have to mean sharing everything that happened to you all at once. We'll work together to understand what you're experiencing, identify patterns you want to change, and decide where to focus our attention.

My approach is warm, collaborative, and practical. We'll move at a pace that feels manageable, making space to explore difficult experiences while also focusing on the challenges you're facing in everyday life. You don't need to have everything figured out before we begin.

How We Will Work Together

Our work will be tailored to your experiences, needs, and goals. I draw from several therapeutic approaches to help you understand patterns, work through difficult experiences, and develop new ways of responding to challenges.

Cognitive Processing Therapy (CPT): A Structured Approach to Trauma Recovery

If you appreciate a clear, goal-oriented approach to therapy, Cognitive Processing Therapy (CPT) may be a good fit. CPT is an evidence-based treatment designed for post-traumatic stress.

After a traumatic experience, you may develop thoughts and beliefs that affect how you see yourself, other people, and the world. Sometimes called “stuck points,” these beliefs can make it harder to move forward. They might sound like:

  • “I should have done something differently.”

  • “I can't trust anyone.”

  • “The world is unsafe.”

  • “Something is wrong with me.”

CPT helps you examine these beliefs, understand how they affect your life today, and consider new ways of looking at what happened.

What Makes CPT Different?

CPT focuses on how trauma has shaped your thoughts and beliefs about yourself, other people, and the world. While you may discuss aspects of your experience, treatment places particular emphasis on understanding and working through the beliefs connected to it.

Together, we'll explore areas that may have been affected, including:

  • Safety and Trust: How you experience safety, trust others, and approach relationships.

  • Power and Control: How you think about responsibility, control, and the choices available to you.

  • Self-Worth and Connection: How trauma may have affected your sense of worth, feelings of shame, and relationships with others.

Is CPT Right for Me?

CPT may be a good fit if you're looking for:

  • A structured, evidence-based approach to trauma treatment.

  • Clear goals and practical exercises between sessions.

  • Support in understanding and working through beliefs that developed or changed after a traumatic experience.

Although CPT follows a structured framework, our work together remains collaborative and tailored to your experiences and goals.

Interested in exploring whether CPT may be a good fit for you? Let's talk.

Frequently Asked Questions

Healing Doesn't Mean Forgetting What Happened

It means understanding how your experiences have shaped you, developing new ways of responding, and creating space for the life you want to build moving forward.